Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Headaches


I don't say much about my headaches anymore. Mainly because the daily pain is not as bad as it was a year ago. Although not officially diagnosed, I have Chronic daily Headache. The main symptom is a headache at least 3 days a week or something silly like that. At headache pain 7 days a week, I think it is safe to say I have CDH.

I work with a wonderful chiropractor who has me on several natural supplements. The combination seems to be working. Most days the pain is so minimal that I don't considerate it pain. Even better, headache pain is not the first thing I notice the minute I wake up these days. Nothing like waking up in pain to start the day on the 'right foot'.

You see the "But..." coming in this post, right.

However, not all days are great. Maybe it is the hormones, gotta love being female. Maybe it is the stress; and I am dealing with some stress at work right now. And there is very little I can do about it.

Whichever, this is not a good week. The pain has been just below the level at which I will complain (and that is about a 5 on my pain scale). It has flirted with me each morning; "does it hurt or not?" Tonight, it reared its ugly head. Moving up the scale to about a 7.

I will go to bed and as the world around me calms and quiets the throbbing in my head will increase, or least my awareness of it will increase. I will lay there, wishing away the pain, yet the pain will keep me up. Staying awake until I fall asleep is not an option as I have to work tomorrow. Eventually, sleep will win.

Then I will wake up, the first thought will be "My head hurts." The throbbing will still be there, as if I can feel each beat of my heart. The only relief from the pain is sleep and sleeping all the time just isn't possible. I will lay there, hoping it goes away. Then the inevitable will occur, I will get up. I will shower and dress for work. I will go in and smile and do the best I can do.

If I am lucky the pain will ease off. If not, it will intensify, and that could lead to crying. I hate crying for no good reason. I hate crying when my head just won't stop hurting, it is almost like my eyes have to release some tension and crying is how they do it. I still hate it. I hate telling people my head hurts and they just nod like they know what I mean. I don't talk about my head issues with most people. I don't want it to rule my life. But every once in a while I need to bitch, I need to be heard, I need some sympathy.

Not many people read my blog, so the sympathy thing won't be much. It just feels good to bitch, to complain, to whine, to be a baby, and to just let it all out.


2 comments:

Donna said...

:hug:

I'm so sorry you have to suffer with these headaches.

With today's technology, you would think that a cure could be found.

Gypsichic said...

ughhhhhhh..........bless your heart! it does sound like you have some hope compared to a year ago, though.